Show Me the Shekelim!

I just read ThinkProgress' exclusive emails "obtained" somehow from a string of communication between Mr. Manifestation Of What's Wrong with Politics, Jack Abramoff, and a Washington magazine editor.

Abramoff emailed the editor in 2003 about an invitation to the Presidential Ranch in Crawford he was forced to decline (and, yes, Jack seems to either needlessly leave Caps Lock on during normal correspondence or dictate through a megaphone): "NO, IT WAS THAT I WOULD HAVE HAD TO TRAVEL ON SATURDAY (SHABBOS). YES, I WAS INVITED, DURING THE 2004 CAMPAIGN. IT WAS SATURDAY AUGUST 9, 2003 AT THE RANCH IN CRAWFORD."

Oy gevalt! Poor meshuga farshtinkener! Good thing Rev Abramoff is such a good Orthodox Jew or else maybe he would have filled more GOP pockets with cash, I suppose. "Sorry, Tom, I'd love to come to the Indian reservation tonight to broker a sweetheart deal, but I've got a Kabbalat Shabbat service and it's my turn to lead Lecha Dodi! Maybe next time." Of course, Captain Jack is the only Orthodox Jew I know to use such poser-boy frat-house language like ''These mofos are the stupidest idiots in the land for sure" and ''Da man! You iz da man! Do you hear me?! You da man!! How much $$ coming tomorrow? Did we get some more $$ in?''

"Traditioooon! Tradition!" "Tradition!"